Free Self-Reflection Tool

Relationship Awareness Questionnaire

Answer honestly about your relationship as it is right now. At the end, you'll get a private, on-screen summary of the patterns you marked, plus some general tips. This is not a diagnosis — just a starting point for reflection.

About This Tool

This questionnaire is offered by R.I.S.E. Consulting, LLC for personal reflection and general knowledge only. It is not a psychological evaluation, does not diagnose abuse or any condition, and cannot determine whether your relationship is or is not healthy — only you, and if needed a trusted professional, can weigh that. There is no scoring that labels your relationship; the summary below only reflects the frequency of patterns you selected. Nothing you enter is saved, submitted, or sent anywhere.

Communication & Respect

Dismisses or mocks my opinions, feelings, or ideas

1. Dismisses or mocks my opinions, feelings, or ideas

Interrupts, talks over, or won't let me finish speaking during disagreements

2. Interrupts, talks over, or won't let me finish speaking during disagreements

Uses sarcasm, name-calling, or put-downs, even "as a joke"

3. Uses sarcasm, name-calling, or put-downs, even "as a joke"

Gives me the silent treatment or withdraws affection to punish me

4. Gives me the silent treatment or withdraws affection to punish me

Blames me for their own mistakes or bad moods

5. Blames me for their own mistakes or bad moods

Trust, Jealousy & Monitoring

Accuses me of flirting or cheating without cause

1. Accuses me of flirting or cheating without cause

Checks my phone, email, or social media without my permission

2. Checks my phone, email, or social media without my permission

Expects me to share passwords or agree to location tracking

3. Expects me to share passwords or agree to location tracking

Gets angry or suspicious when I spend time with certain friends

4. Gets angry or suspicious when I spend time with certain friends

Questions where I've been or who I've been with in a controlling way

5. Questions where I've been or who I've been with in a controlling way

Control & Independence

Tries to control how I spend money or requires me to justify purchases

1. Tries to control how I spend money or requires me to justify purchases

Discourages or prevents me from working or going to school

2. Discourages or prevents me from working or going to school

Makes major decisions (housing, finances, family planning) without my input

3. Makes major decisions (housing, finances, family planning) without my input

Tells me what to wear, who to see, or how to spend my free time

4. Tells me what to wear, who to see, or how to spend my free time

Threatens to leave, withhold affection, or "make things difficult" if I don't do what they want

5. Threatens to leave, withhold affection, or "make things difficult" if I don't do what they want

Emotional Patterns

Makes me feel "too sensitive" or "crazy" for reacting to their behavior

1. Makes me feel "too sensitive" or "crazy" for reacting to their behavior

Denies things they said or did, even when I clearly remember them

2. Denies things they said or did, even when I clearly remember them

Leaves me feeling like I'm "walking on eggshells" around them

3. Leaves me feeling like I'm "walking on eggshells" around them

Apologizes and promises to change, but the same behavior happens again

4. Apologizes and promises to change, but the same behavior happens again

Uses guilt to get me to do what they want

5. Uses guilt to get me to do what they want

Conflict & Safety

Raises their voice, yells, or throws/breaks things during arguments

1. Raises their voice, yells, or throws/breaks things during arguments

Has grabbed, pushed, restrained, or otherwise physically hurt me

2. Has grabbed, pushed, restrained, or otherwise physically hurt me

Has threatened to hurt me, themselves, a pet, or someone I love

3. Has threatened to hurt me, themselves, a pet, or someone I love

Makes me feel afraid of how they'll react before I bring something up

4. Makes me feel afraid of how they'll react before I bring something up

Has blocked me from leaving a room or conversation, or used their size or position to intimidate me

5. Has blocked me from leaving a room or conversation, or used their size or position to intimidate me

Isolation

Discourages or prevents me from seeing friends or family

1. Discourages or prevents me from seeing friends or family

Speaks negatively about the people closest to me

2. Speaks negatively about the people closest to me

Gets upset if I make plans without them

3. Gets upset if I make plans without them

Has caused me to lose touch with people I used to be close to

4. Has caused me to lose touch with people I used to be close to

Overall Gut-Check

I feel like I have to hide parts of my life or personality from my partner

1. I feel like I have to hide parts of my life or personality from my partner

I find myself making excuses to others for my partner's behavior

2. I find myself making excuses to others for my partner's behavior

I feel more anxious, drained, or "on edge" since this relationship began

3. I feel more anxious, drained, or "on edge" since this relationship began

Something about this relationship worries me, even if I can't fully explain why

4. Something about this relationship worries me, even if I can't fully explain why

In Your Own Words

Your summary is calculated on your own device. Nothing is sent anywhere.

If you ever feel unsafe, help is available 24/7: National Domestic Violence Hotline — Call 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. thehotline.org (live chat available).